If you look carefully at the license plate on the police car pictured above, it appears to be registered to Boblingen, which is near where we live now in Germany. Boblingen is a wonderful little city, but the traffic and speed cameras there are no fun. They are hidden all over the city, and they do Johnny Law’s job for him—they get everyone to slow down and drive reasonably.
There’s a three-way shoot-out blazing on the mean streets of Detroit. This one pits Ford against General Motors, with Chrysler hoping to score with a lucky shot of its own.
The three makers are all vying for the police interceptor market Ford will vacate when it pulls the plug on its time-worn Crown Victoria, long the vehicle of choice for the nation’s law enforcement community, in September 2011.
While police departments have used a variety of vehicles in recent years, especially for unmarked and undercover cruisers, the Crown Victoria Police Interceptor has garnered the lion’s share of law enforcement sales, with about 60 percent of the 75,000 vehicles sold annually. That demand was one of the main reasons Ford has kept the Crown Vic in production so long.
Most of the cities and towns patrolled by Johnny Law are flat broke. There’s no money left. So, why not just abandon the idea of having Johnny Law use a police car? Why not have him use a minivan? A minivan is the ultimate Johnny Law vehicle. Buy them used and change the oil or do whatever is necessary to ensure that the thing doesn’t break down after a few thousand miles.
The roomier ones are perfect for law enforcement work. The minivan could be the unsung hero of fiscally conscious communities all over the nation. The minivan can patrol with excellent views of the surrounding area. It can even be fitted with a Johnny Law perched on top, spinning a spotlight around. The minivan can be retro-fitted for multi-use. It can use one to three Johnny Laws if necessary. It can fit a couple of them up front and it can haul between five and seven rowdy small-town teenagers. Put bigger motors in them and you’ll see the difference. Johnny Law doesn’t do much chasing these days anyway.
I know, I know—they’re dowdy. Well, so what? Dowdy will make those crazy people who come to city council meetings sit on their hats and shut up for a change. Dowdy is reliable, and reliable is the new austerity trophy. Get yours today.